a women sleep in bed

Exploring the negative impact of dating culture on men

The existence of the hookup culture is well known, and while it is known to have a bad effect on women, little has been done to explain the effects of the hookup culture on men.

Hookup culture is a culture that accepts and encourages casual sex, which includes one-night stands and other related activities, where both parties do not have to become a couple after having sex, and the two may develop into sexual partners who do not need to be in a relationship. This culture of casual sex with strangers is deeply ingrained in Western culture and has become the norm, especially among college students.

Most of the information we receive explains that men can have sex with strange women for sex, that men are casual, that there is no emotion in sex, and other statements that actually do not generalize all men. Men are emotional, and they also crave their partner's trust and the connection they build with each other.

It may be that most people think that casual sex has no adverse effects on us, but the reality is that casual sex can gradually rob us of our ability to pursue love and long-term relationships.

Men don't just need sex without feelings

couple flirt in bed

In our culture with media such as TV shows, where men are seen as unemotional playboys who can have sex with women all the time, whenever they get the chance, and where movies and the internet promote the idea that men are prone to screw around for pleasure without intimacy, this has led to young men being more prone to feeling anxious about their sexual relationships.

In the prevailing culture, having many women is always positive for men and they feel it is a badge of honor.

I used to be convinced of this view, but the truth is that having casual sex with multiple women may bring pleasure at first, but the longer you do it, it makes sex boring, and hooking up with women all over the place may be fun, but it's not fulfilling.

Many men try to give up this lifestyle after hooking up with women for long periods of time, but indulging themselves for long periods of time has had a long-lasting negative impact on men. Sex without intimacy and emotional connection doesn't make you happy except for a short period of time, and ultimately, it will only make you more miserable.

Here are five ways the hookup culture harms men

1. Undermining pair bonding

The harmful effects of promiscuity are subtle and may not be noticeably negative at first. Studies have shown that chronic promiscuity impairs the ability to form long-lasting partnerships because having many partners at the same time makes it difficult for a person to establish a stable monogamous relationship, and casual sex inhibits oxytocin production, which has an effect on psychological "pair bonding". Sexual contact with multiple partners at the same time causes the brain to continually re-establish emotional connections between people, which in the long run causes new synaptic maps to grow in the brain, leading to this unstable pattern becoming a new habit. If one wants to resume establishing a monogamous long-term partner after this pattern of being together has been established, one must overcome the habit that has been formed and re-disrupt the mechanisms established by the brain. The simple fact is that casual sex weakens men's ability to maintain long-term relationships.

2. Inceasing the risk of STIs

Several studies have shown a high correlation between frequent changes in sexual partners and a higher risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections, which occurs in large part because of the inconsistent use of condoms.

And condoms aren't a panacea; even when condom use is incorporated into sexual behavior, it's still possible to contract herpes, warts, syphilis, and other STIs, which can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact.

In one study of American college students, it was found that people usually drink before hooking up, and when you're drunk, you're less likely to use a condom, which increases the risk of sexually transmitted infections.

3. Increasing the risk of unwanted pregnancy

Casual sex can also lead to unwanted pregnancies, a situation that most men who hook up don't want to encounter, and there are many hassles associated with having sex with the object of a one-night stand and becoming pregnant. For men who have too many sexual partners, the risk of unwanted pregnancy from a sexual partner is also increased, and the costs and additional responsibilities associated with raising a child are also potential risks.

4. Increasing trust issues in relationships

Hooking up can also have a hugely negative impact on a man's intimacy and relationships, this is due to the body's special hormonal mechanisms, sex not only gives pleasure but also creates an emotional connection, when a couple climaxes during sex their brain releases oxytocin, which strengthens trust and intimacy.

This means that whether or not both partners like or want to have a long term relationship with each other, as long as they are having sex there is an emotional connection between them and when the sex is over that emotional connection is still there, but without the mutual commitment of both partners the relationship will not last. And many men who have sex with women in relationships have trust issues, which can deepen the idea that women are unfaithful.

Thus, the hookup culture reinforces men's confusion about intimacy, and many male college students have many sexual partners but are very unhappy with the hookup culture.

5. Risking honey traps and other types of violence   

Another very serious consequence of promiscuity is that you look to face potential harm from the other person's partner or family, if the person you have a one night stand with is married or already has a partner, then you could be in danger of being verbally abused, threatened, beaten, or even killed by their partner, being an honorable and self-loving man and obeying the law will save you from a lot of harm.

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