When you think of vanilla, many people may think of vanilla flavoured ice cream, which is a flavour that satisfies most people and goes well with other flavours. The same goes for vanilla sex, which meets the expectations and needs of most people, which is why it has become a classic.
The Meaning of Vanilla Sex
Sex isn't always intense, rough and kinky, it can also be slow, soft and relaxing for each other and this kind of sex is called vanilla sex. It can be any sexual act such as cuddling, kissing, touching, massaging, and includes penetrative sex as well as the use of sex toys. There's no rule as to what's necessarily not vanilla sex, it depends on how you approach it, the way you do it. It's more about an atmosphere, such as gentle, slow movements and conversation.
But that doesn't mean it's bland and boring, vanilla sex can also lead to intense orgasms.
Myths about vanilla sex
Vanilla sex is suitable for most people, but there are a lot of misconceptions about it that can make people feel ashamed or embarrassed, which can also discourage people from trying vanilla sex.
- It's boring: the most common misconception about vanilla sex is that it's boring, and if you're bored with sex, it's not vanilla sex that's causing it, any sex can become boring over time with repetition, so it has nothing to do with vanilla sex. Freshness is what keeps sex more passionate and interesting. Adding some newness to the bedroom can also make vanilla sex more fun, such as trying new positions, switching sex scenes and adding sex toys.
- It doesn't bring pleasure: Some people think vanilla sex isn't for women, when in fact studies have shown that women have a higher probability of having an orgasm during oral sex, deep kissing, and sensual massage. And it's not just women, men can get off on vanilla sex too. Vanilla sex doesn't always have to mean slow and gentle, it can also be passionate and exciting.
Why do people enjoy vanilla sex?
People want to have sex in different ways, have different sexual preferences, and will tend to experience different feelings with different types of sex. So just because people will want to experience gentle, slow sex doesn't mean that's what they always want. Whatever type of sex you want, it's important to enjoy the moment, take in the atmosphere of the moment, and know that knowing what to expect will make us feel more relaxed, and relaxation promotes sexual arousal and orgasm.
What are the benefits of vanilla sex?
Vanilla sex is very easy to start and suits most people, and if you haven't tried it then why not? Vanilla sex allows us to become more focused on intimacy and connection with each other. It allows us to focus more on the senses, such as breathing and feeling each other.
Even if you are more into kinky sex, vanilla sex can be your spice, bringing new sensations and maintaining sexual energy and connection.
How to have better vanilla sex?
1. Communication
Communication is an important part of a relationship, whether you want better sex, to solve problems in the relationship, or you want to try new things and communicate with your partner. Understanding and communication is what creates a safe and comfortable space for each other, after all, as said, everyone has different sexual preferences, for example, one person wants more mundane sex while the other wants more intense sex. So we have to talk about it more in order to find behaviours that make each other feel comfortable.
Talking about sex in the beginning can be difficult, especially for people in a relatively conservative cultural mindset. Or factors such as lack of experience, shyness, and lack of sex education can make communication even more difficult. And sexual desires and preferences are something that can change over time, with more in-depth knowledge. Ongoing communication is important, not just before sex, but during sex should not be overlooked.
2. Take your time
It's important to take your time, more time is needed to make sure that both partners are consenting, to give each other the opportunity to respond, to make sure that this is what the other person wants, and that even silence is better than engaging in behaviours that the other person doesn't like. So more time for communication is very necessary.
Is there anything wrong with vanilla sex?
There is nothing inherently wrong with vanilla sex, it doesn't mean boring and ordinary, it can be intense and exciting sex and can be just as rich as any other type of sex. Whether it's vanilla sex or any other type of sex, ensuring mutual respect and consent is key. Everyone enjoys different sexual preferences and liking vanilla sex doesn't mean it's inferior to others.