Couple having intimate sex in bedroom

What Is a Destructive Orgasm?

Are you looking forward to and excited about your upcoming orgasm? However, the person who provided the climax deliberately stopped. This is called "orgasm ruined", but there are people who can't stop being excited about it.

Are you confused? Let’s talk about destructive orgasms. Whatever destructive orgasms mean, they are to be consensual. Destructive orgasms involve BDSM power dynamics, which are of great appeal to those who like power dynamics.

 

What exactly does a destructive orgasm mean?

A disruptive orgasm is a unique orgasmic experience that intentionally stops, interrupts, or weakens before reaching orgasm. This kind of game can bring pain, disappointment or frustration to the recipient. But the experience excites the recipient.

 

What makes this game so appealing?

This game is especially exciting for those who like to control others or enjoy having power over others. Those who derive pleasure from intentionally destructive orgasms find it provocative and seductive to leave the orgasmic experience to their partner. Ruined orgasms tend to enhance feelings of submission or control between partners. Depending on the dynamics and desires of the participants, elements such as humiliation, punishment, discipline, and power can all be part of this type of game. This practice allows for nuanced experiences and potential intersections between physical, psychological, and emotional responses.

 

What is the difference between destructive orgasm and forced orgasm?

While destructive orgasms and forced orgasms are both common in the BDSM community, they differ in their focus on the intensity of pleasure during orgasm.

Forced orgasm allows an individual to climax intensely on demand with stimulation provided by a dominant partner. Destructive orgasms, on the other hand, involve deliberately reducing the pleasure felt during orgasm. In the case of a ruined orgasm, the dominant partner may stimulate the submissive partner to the edge of orgasm and then stop suddenly, resulting in potential disappointment or less intensity. Orgasm will occur even if orgasm occurs.

In a submissive context, experiencing a ruined orgasm can strengthen the bond between partners by confirming the dominant partner's control over the submissive partner's pleasure.

It is important to acknowledge that within the realm of sexual experience, there is the potential for overlap, and that a person may experience both a ruined orgasm and a forced orgasm at the same time. A dominant partner may also intentionally "sabotage" a forced orgasm.

 

Is a destructive orgasm the absence of an orgasm?

A ruined orgasm does not mean there is no orgasm at all. Ruined orgasms are sometimes called "ejaculation-only orgasms," indicating a different ejaculatory response than the typical orgasmic experience. In this case, the individual may experience the physical release of ejaculation, but it will not be accompanied by the intense pleasure associated with regular orgasms.

 

Are devastating orgasms the same as edge?

Although the start and end rhythm of a ruined climax may seem similar to that of Edge, the two practices serve different purposes. The purpose of edging is to prolong the pleasure and achieve a more intense orgasm. Destructive orgasms, on the other hand, are designed to deliberately reduce pleasure, serving the broader goal of control within the BDSM dynamic.

Additionally, edging is more commonly associated with solo masturbation practices, whereas destructive orgasms are often integrated into BDSM dynamics between partners. Although superficially similar, the contrast in target and context makes the two experiences different.

 

Why would anyone want a devastating orgasm?

In situations where orgasm is ruined, the desire to be the giver often comes down to the element of control. People love destructive orgasms because they are inherently sadistic. For those with sadistic tendencies, deriving pleasure from torturing someone in this way can be a satisfying experience. Ruining something that is supposed to bring great pleasure, like an orgasm, can provide the person who orchestrates the destructive orgasm with a sense of control and satisfaction.

Girlfriend with tied hands and boyfriend having sex in apartment

How to start/get destructive orgasms?

Achieving a ruined orgasm requires careful communication, consent, and a clear understanding of each other's desires and boundaries. Follow these steps to safely explore ruined orgasms with your partner:

  1. Have an open conversation: Before delving into any BDSM activities, discuss kink and dom/sub play with your partner. Make sure both parties are willing to experiment with ruined orgasms and have a shared understanding of the dynamics involved.
  1. Establish needs and limits: Clearly communicate your needs, boundaries, and hard limits, and allow your partner to express their needs, boundaries, and hard limits. This open dialogue is critical to creating a consensus and safe space for exploration.
  1. Use a safe word: Choose a safe word (such as "pineapple" or "purple") to signal if either side needs to stop play immediately. Regardless of experience level, unexpected feelings or discomfort may arise, and using safe words is crucial to respecting boundaries.
  1. Tease and build sexual tension: If you are the dominant partner (dom) in the situation, engage in teasing behaviors such as handjobs or fingering to build sexual tension in the submissive partner (sub).
  1. Experiment with start-stop motion: Incorporate play with start and stop motion, and introduce elements of teasing along the way. The journey to a ruined orgasm shouldn't follow a linear path; instead, focus on arousing your partner and then stop suddenly.
  1. Create Anti-Climax Orgasms: The ultimate goal of a destructive orgasm is to have an orgasm that is less pleasurable than intended after a lot of foreplay. The resulting orgasm should be dull, consistent with the intention of "ruining" the intended pleasure.

Remember, consent, communication, and aftercare are key aspects of engaging in BDSM activities such as disruptive orgasms. The health and comfort of both parties is always prioritized throughout the experience.

Back to blog