Sexual performance anxiety is relatively common in sexual life, and it is something we may encounter or are currently experiencing. Sexual performance anxiety is normal, so don't worry about it. The condition is more common among men than women. So what causes sexual performance anxiety, what are its symptoms and how we can overcome it.
What is sexual performance anxiety? What are the symptoms?
Sexual performance anxiety mainly manifests as the fear of sexually related activities. It may occur during or even before sexual activity. The main symptoms include lack of interest in sex, difficulty in sexual arousal, difficulty in erection, premature ejaculation, difficulty in orgasm, and pain during sexual intercourse.
Causes of sexual performance anxiety
- Being too concerned about your body shape: Feeling unconfident about your body or genitals, being too concerned about your sexual activities, and fearing that your partner will be dissatisfied with your body shape.
- Stress and anxiety: The pressure and anxiety in life are brought into sexual life, or the partner or oneself has too high expectations of oneself, which can lead to anxiety.
- Sexual inexperience: It’s normal to feel anxious about sex if you have little experience or if it’s your first time having sex.
- Past Trauma: The negative impact of past bad sexual experiences may lead to sexual anxiety.
- Excessive consumption of pornography: Overly exaggerated porn can cause us to have unrealistic expectations about sex. Produce wrong perceptions that can lead to anxiety about sex.
The effects of performance anxiety
Performance anxiety will, to a certain extent, lead to avoidance of sex and disrupt the harmony of life. If left in this situation for a long time, it will affect the feelings and intimacy between two people.
How to Overcome Performance Anxiety
If you want to overcome performance anxiety, you must first find out the cause of your performance anxiety and solve it in a targeted manner. At the same time, communicate with your partner, let go of some unrealistic expectations for yourself, and relieve the pressure in your life. Here are some ways to help you overcome performance anxiety.
1. Talk to your partner
Communication is the foundation of everything, especially when there are problems in relationships or life. Communicating with your partner can solve most problems very well. You can communicate with your partner how you feel, tell the reasons why you feel anxious, and express your concerns to the other person. When you express your anxiety to your partner, you can relieve it by letting go of the veil of mystery.
Communicating with each other can solve problems better. If you and your partner rarely talk about sex, you can choose to make an appointment at a suitable and comfortable time and place to understand each other's wishes and demands. Don't worry, just communicate boldly.
2. Breathing Meditation Practice
Try mindful breathing meditation exercises to relieve anxiety and focus on yourself and the present moment. You can also add masturbation to mindfulness to feel yourself better and enjoy the process of self-pleasure to relieve sexual anxiety.
3. Lower expectations
Lowering your expectations for yourself and facing yourself can better alleviate and overcome performance anxiety. Take the pressure off of sex, explore your body, and focus on enjoying the process rather than worrying about the results.
4. Change the environment
Change your environment to create one that makes you feel comfortable, such as keeping your bedroom clean and tidy, lowering the bedroom lights, lighting scented candles, and playing sexy music. Change your environment so that you feel relaxed and comfortable. Sexual performance anxiety can be relieved to a certain extent.
5. Broaden the definition of sex
When sex no longer has a target, or a goal that must be achieved. It can very well relieve sexual performance anxiety. Broaden the definition of sex, no longer focus on orgasm and number, but focus on the process and sexual experience. Explore more things that make each other happy, not just penetration. For example, you can try oral sex, erotic massage, explore sexual fantasies, or use sex toys to better feel the pleasure that sex brings.
6. Ask for help
If sexual performance anxiety exists for a long time and affects your sex life. Then it is necessary to seek help from a third party. You can seek help from a doctor, psychiatrist or sex therapist. The earlier you receive treatment, the smaller the impact of sexual performance anxiety will be.
Final thoughts
Sexual performance anxiety is a very normal thing and can be caused by many reasons. Communicating with your partner in a timely manner, expressing your nervousness and understanding each other's wishes and demands can effectively relieve anxiety. If you suffer from this kind of anxiety for a long time and it affects the relationship between you and your partner, it is important to seek help from a doctor in time.